EFORE introducing strangers, consider the likelihood of newcomers proving acceptable to old friends, and each to the other. When convenient, ascertain the desire on each side, and avoid bringing together uncongenial persons. When there are differences in rank, introduce the person of lower status to him of higher social position. A lady should never be introduced to a gentleman; courtesy accords precedence to ladies; gentlemen are honored by an introduction to the gentler sex. When there are no differences of sex or rank, consider age and eminence, and introduce the younger or less distinguished to the more remarkable or the elder. There is no parade of words necessary to an introduction; merely say, “Mr. Montgomery, permit me to present to you my friend Mr. Crittenden.” Turn to your other friend and say, with slight corresponding action: “Mr. Crittenden, Mr. Montgomery.”

The two gentlemen may then shake hands, and exchange courteous remarks, or merely bow. The same form will be observed in presenting a gentleman to a lady, but your bow to the lady will be more deferential.

Sometimes under the roofs of friends you will be introduced to persons with whom you are on ill terms; you must act with cool courtesy, as if a mere stranger had been presented.

Guests may introduce each other in large assemblics, although not in strict propriety, and in smaller gatherings, as at a ball, the host or hostess should officiate, and such freedoms are not looked for.

Ladies seldom refuse to a gentleman permission to introduce a friend, unless he is very objectionable, because they cannot well decline without embarrassing explanations, or the chance of being misunderstood.

An unmarried lady should not shake hands with a gent1eman when he is introduced, it is optional with other ladies, but a simple bow is sufficient.

It is wrong to dance with a gentleman who has not been formally introduced, and ladies usually find it advisable to dance only with gentlemen of their own party, but of course there are exceptions to that rule. An introduction by the master of ceremonies is perfectly in order, but it is at the option of the lady to give recognition subsequently.

Gentlemen or ladies to whom much younger persons of their own sex have been introduced, may shake hands with the young people, and say a few kindly words.

When introducing friends and relatives, do not assume that others know their full names; the name and relationship, if any, should be fully stated.

If your relatives are for any reason not presentable to any of your friends, avoid introducing them, as your act may cause inconvenience. Relations of your friends when introduced by them to you, should be placed among the persons with whom you are acquainted, but you may drop them if they are objectionable. Any flagrant neglect of the foregoing rule, in the presentation of persons known to be disagreeable, is very reprehensible.

When  introduced  to a  lady or  gentleman in the streets, on the boulevards, or in the park, raise your hat at the moment of

When many persons are to be presented to one person, as at a reception or levee, or on minor ceremonial occasions, you need only name the honored guest once when saying: “Allow me to present Mr. Smith, Mr. Fielder, Mr. Somers, Mr. Tyng,” and so on, a bow emphasizing each name, and indicating its owner. Pronounce each name distinctly, to avoid misunderstandings, questions, or repetitions.

Introductions do not oblige persons introduced to continue acquaintance. Casual introductions are seldom desirable, and meeting a gentleman or lady at the house of a mutual friend does not entitle you to recognition elsewhere, although you may have been introduced.

your acknowledging the honor.

The genius of our Constitution entitles you to call upon the President of the United States, or the Governor of your own State, at any public reception, merely handing your card or cards to the master of ceremonies; but should you want a private interview, it is well to secure an official presentation, by some Senator or Representative to whom you are known, although you would in all likelihood be received as soon as convenient by the Chief Executive, upon your own request.

When calling upon the Governor of another State, a more formal introduction is desirable, although     still   not     imperative.

Repeated meetings at the houses of friends, where the persons are agreeable, may lead to intimacy and friendship, without the formality of an introduction.

Ladies have the option to continue or terminate an acquaintance formed at a ball, or on any festive occasion, and their privilege therein has no limit, save their will. When the person introduced is famous for some achievement or discovery, it is perfectly in order to couple his claim to special recognition, with the name which it ennobles. If he is a foreigner not otherwise noteworthy, he may be introduced as “M'sieur Lafitte, from Paris,” or if great in art or science, as “Mr. Courtland, the well-known specialist;” or “The painter, Mr. Jeffrey.” You do honor to yourself by recognizing the merits of your friends.

The caller whom you meet in your friend's house you may drop instantly, but your friend's guest is your friend also, as long as the visit continues, and you owe to her or to him every courtesy.

While your guest continues, an introduction to every person that you receive is necessary, and persons so brought together must make themselves agreeable.

Titles must never be lost sight of when introducing friends, or the presentation will be incomplete.

Friends walking with other persons, not mutually known, may meet and converse without introducing their respective acquaintances, unless presentations are desired.

If under such circumstances a lady desires an interview, your friend must pause with you, and to avoid awkwardness an introduction may be necessary; but that presentation does not oblige the lady to recognize your friend subsequently. Relatives walking with you may be introduced to your friends, should you stop to converse.

In public places it is wrong to converse in loud tones, or to make any great parade in introductions. A moderate and even tone of voice, and modest manners, are becoming.

Your interview will be more pleasant on both sides if you are properly vouched for by letters of introduction, or introduced by some person known to His Excellency.

More ceremony is insisted on at all foreign courts,  than in the official residences of the President and Governors in this country.  It would not avail you in the slightest to send your card to Queen Victoria,  should you visit Windsor while Her Majesty was staying at the castle,  although Americans are permitted many privileges in England which would be peremptorily denied to visitors from any other nation,  and to natives of the country.  It is advisable always to comply with required ceremonies when they are not personally offensive.

To procure a presentation at the English or any foreign court,  you must first call upon the American Minister,  or Representative at that court,  and obtain credentials from that gentleman.  You will at the same time obtain all necessary information as to time,  forms,  and ceremonies to be observed,  with such particulars as could not be given here.

A lady will of course be presented by a lady,  and a gentleman by a gentleman; ladies in full dress,  and gentlemen in evening costume,  that is to say,  the black suit,  including a dress coat—not a surtout¹, nor walking coat—with such other details as would be demanded for a ball-room in this country.

There is an official at every European court usually known as the Chamberlain or Lord Chamberlain²,  who, with his assistants,  will give all necessary instructions to those who are to be presented at court,  and see that the forms are complied with.  Natives of monarchical countries are never presented unless attired in court costume,  and vouched for as persons of good social standing.  At European levees two cards are necessary,  one to be left at the entrance and one to be handed to the gentleman presenting,  who will give your name.

1.A surtout (French for “over all”) was an overcoat or greatcoat; a walking coat was like a cutaway, with the front cut back in curves from the waist button toward the outer sides of the wearer's legs, presumably to enhance freedom of movement.

2. Queen Victoria's Lord Chamberlain of the Household (as distinct from the much loftier office of Lord Great Chamberlain) from 1880 to 1885 was a wealthy Irish landowner named Valentine Augustus Browne, 4th Earl of Kenmare (1825-1905). His picture from the National Portrait Gallery (UK) is here. During this period he was much reviled for raising his tenants' rents to pay for his new manor house, which in essence bankrupted him.

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