LL persons that move in society are governed by the laws of fashion, and calls of ceremony are parts of the ordeal through which they must pass to social distinction. In some cities the custom has been  initiated  of

employing help in leaving cards, and the tax on valuable time involved in the regular system of calls, may some day make the new practice universal. Calls of ceremony should be considered an indispensable detail of social obligation, and any neglect to return the observance is an indication that intimacy is not desired, unless for assigned and sufficient reasons, such as decrepitude, or weakness; one side is relieved from the necessity to make calls.

MORNING CALLS

are never made in the morning, but at any time between noon and five in the afternoon. Fashion calls daylight morning, but before noon is too early for calling. Evening commences with darkness, but there are a few hours after five when calls are not in order.

Convenience has suggested the appointment of set times for receiving calls, and when certain mornings and evenings have been named in any establishment for reception justify_preceding_line_please

of visitors, it is a violation of etiquette for residents in the locality to break through the rule.

Visitors to the city, who could not otherwise pay their respects, are permitted to make calls irrespective of the times set apart for receiving.

Evening calls are less formal, and more pleasant, than those made in the morning, but to call in the evening implies a greater degree of intimacy.

Formal calls are assigned to the morning, and should not exceed twenty minutes in duration, but half that time will suffice for all purposes, generally.

Gentlemen are expected to make a call: When they have received letters of introduction which they wish to honor, when they desire to acknowledge hospitalities received in other places, and have learned that their whilom entertainers are visiting the city in which they reside; when congratulations or condolences are specially in order, because of some event involving joy, or sorrow, as after a wedding, a death, or a funeral; when any act of courtesy has to be acknowledged; after an invitation to the house of a friend, and during the following week, whether the invitation was declined or accepted; when a friend has returned from travel, after being long absent; after having escorted a lady to an entertainment, a gentleman will call on the following day to inquire as to her health.

Formal calls should never be extended, as time on both sides is valuable, and when there are many callers, expedition is still more desirable.

When a gentleman calls upon a lady he should go alone, unless he has obtained permission from the lady to bring with him a friend desirous of an introduction.

Morning calls, although formal and ceremonious, are pleasant means for improving acquaintance, and ascertaining whether the person visited is capable of friendship.

Conversation is permissible on the lighter topics of the day, but religion, politics, and pedantic display are never in order on such occasions, and rarely, if ever, in society.

Gentlemen indicate the brevity of their call by retaining their hats and gloves—their hats must, of course, be justify_preceding_line_please

removed. The cane or umbrella may be left in the hall.

Ladies need not remove their gloves, and they retain their parasols while they remain.

The hostess will ring when callers retire, to assure herself that a servant will attend them to the door.

The hostess may retain some light piece of work in her hands, if she wishes, while entraining callers; but any serious employment at that time would be out of order.

Callers should send up their cards, to prevent misunderstanding as to their names, and as a record, in the absence of their friends.

Retiring after a call requires tact, as if you leave directly other visitors arrive, it may seem that you quit on their account; yet an increase of numbers is one reason for retiring. No rule can be laid down that will apply in all cases; tact only will suggest the way, and at the right moment you will gracefully take leave of the lady of the house, acknowledge the other visitors by bowing slightly, and make your exit, leaving behind you a favorable impression as to your familiarity with the usages of good society.

Sir Peter Teazle, in the “School for Scandal,” said to his friends:—“I leave my character behind me.” That is true of every man; but no one save Sheridan might have made that spiteful witticism the retiring shot of the shrewd Baronet. If you are not desirous to win repute as a wit, it will be much more to your purpose to conciliate by kindly demeanor, at once more pleasant and more profitable. Complaisance need not be carried to excess, but always when you may, increase the number of your friends.

EVENING CALLS

should not exceed an hour in duration, and usage prescribes nine o'clock as the limit, after which calls ought not to be made.

Supposing the call to be the first made by the gentleman, he will retain his hat and gloves, even though invited by the hostees to surrender them; and except under special circumstances warranting a departure from established rule, such an invitation will not be extended to the visitor upon his first call. This rule does not apply to informal calls.

Intimate friends may prolong an evening call beyond the usual hour, but an ordinary visitor will not exceed that time, nor stay so long, unless he can assure himself that the call is not tiresome.

When calling a second time, or subsequently, callers retain their hats and gloves until invited to lay them aside by the hostess, whose duty it is to suggest that they remain and spend the evening.

Calls made by a stranger should be returned within one week, or he may feel that his overtures are declined.

New comers to any neighborhood are not at liberty to make calls before they have been called upon by former residents, but such calls are usually made as soon as the new house is in order.

Married ladies relieve their husbands from the duty of calling, by leaving both cards themselves, on merely ceremonial occasions.

Conventional misstatements are not untruths. A servant is told to reply “Not at home,” when it would be inconvenient to receive calls, and that fact is fully understood.

Unless a special time has been set for receiving calls, society people should always be prepared for visitors, within the hours set apart for that purpose, conventionally.

When calls are made at unconventional times, the visitors may be received in morning costume, rather than they should be kept waiting too long.

Calls should not be prolonged when, as must sometimes happen, they clash with luncheon, or any meal time. An early departure in such a case is true politeness.

Visitors from a distance are exempted from many observances and ceremonies—they may call earlier, or later, and stay longer, than callers resident in the neighborhood.

That is as it should be. The comparative stranger is only for a short term a denizen in the neighborbood, and unless special facilities are permitted, may be compelled to return, without making acquaintances and friends, for whom, by common report, he has strong feelings of regard. Should the concession prove an affliction, there is always brevity in prospect, to render the task endurable; and, as a rule, traveled people are pleasant innovations everywhere. Their report of your courtesy will compensate annoyances, even if they are dunces.

When any person with whom you are on visiting terms is entertaining a guest from a distance, you should make a call, and the friend with his guest should return your visit.

Should you be confined to your house by sickness, etiquette requires you to return all calls as soon as your justify_preceding_line_please

health is restored. Cards left on such occasions rank as calls.

During prolonged sickness, lady friends may visit gentlemen, but at no other time. The conversation at such times will be governed by the condition of the invalid.

Your desire will not be to shine at the cost of his health, but to amuse.

Dress and deportment should bear proper relation to the occasion of your visit: At joyous times your apparel may be gay, and your manner modestly cheerful; but when you visit the house of sorrow, your appearance, manner and conversation, should be in keeping with the event. The person visited at such times is under no obligation to converse.

Choose fine weather for making calls, for your own comfort, as well as for the convenience of your friends, as even though you have your carriage, you cannot avoid bearing some of the discomforts of the season into the drawing-room where you are received, if your call is made during wet and inclement weather.

Refreshments are not offered to callers, unless they come from a considerable distance, which is a rare event in cities. In rural districts visitors often come from remote points, and may need refreshments.

A gentleman may escort a strange lady a her carriage, if she be otherwhe unattended, and leaving a house at which he has called; but he will then return to the house, and make his adieux to the hostess.

After any social festivity it is proper to leave cards within one week. Those unable to accept invitations, should call earlier to express their regrets.

Condolences on bereavement should be expressed by leaving cards immediately after the event is known, and by a visit within the following week.

When a gentleman calls on a lady, the lady will slightly rise and bow, and at once resume her seat. A lady would be received by the hostess advancing to welcome her, and on her retirement the lady will be attended to the door by her entertainer, unless the presence of other guests renders it inexpedient to do more than rise to receive the adieux of her departing guest.

A gentleman calling on a gentleman is received at the door by his host who welcomes him cordially, and relieves him of his overcoat, hat and other impedimentia.

Whether visiting ladies or gentlemen, it is proper to carry yourself in an easy manner, and sustain a share in the conversation happily. You will not take a survey of the justify_preceding_line_please

drawing-room, as though taking mental inventory, but act as one perfectly familiar with the establishment. Your gloves will not be removed during your ceremonial visit, which may not exceed ten, and must not be prolonged beyond twenty minutes in the morning, or an hour in the evening. Some persons take pet animals with them when making calls; that is a sin against etiquette, as puppies are never at home in the drawing-room, and their presence causes much disquietude.

Children should be left at school, or in the nursery, when you are making calls, as they can be happier at home.

The sick-room, when there is an invalid in the house, should never be visited, unless by special invitation. There are many reasons why that rule should be, as it is, imperative.

While waiting the arrival of the lady of the house do not open the piano nor touch the instrument. Do not walk round the room nor examine the furniture.

You are supposed to be interested in the company present, while making a call, hence you will not interfere with the furniture, ornaments, or arrangements of the room, unless asked by the lady of the house; some visitors are guilty of raising or lowering curtains, closing or opening shutters, uninvited, and changing the positions of chairs or other articles. Drawing near the fire, turning your back on other visitors, nervously examining your watch, as though the time hung tediously, or any such manifestation, is a sin against etiquette.

If on your arrival you find the lady, or gentleman, ready to go out, do not appear to notice that fact, but take your departure at the earliest convenient moment, without remark.

It is unnecessary to preface adieux with valedictory explanations. Having said “Good-day,” or “Good-night,” you will not linger in the room.

Whispered, or confidential, conversations between any two, or more, of the company, while others are present, is against good breeding; and the same censure applies with greater pungency to indulgence in criticisms or censorious remarks upon a visitor who has made his exit. While visitors remain the hostess should not leave the room.

If your friends have suffered reverses of fortune, it is your duty to call, but carefully avoid ostentation, or anything that may remind them of altered circumstances.

No gentleman will be guilty of smoking in the presence of ladies, or of assuming ungainly attitudes during visits of ceremony, whether ladies are present or not.

CALLING CARDS.

There is room for considerable taste in Visiting Cards, although they are plain and neat in every instance. The name appears engraved, written or printed in script, with the address, but no business allusion. The prefix “Miss,” “Mrs.,” or “The Misses,” may be used, and a medical practitioner, whether lady or gentleman, may prefix “Dr.” or affix “M. D.,” but such prefixes and addenda as “The Hon.,” “Esq.,” “Prof.” and so on, are inadmissible on calling cards.

Officers in the navy or army should allow their rank to appear on their cards. The eldest daughter is “Miss,” without the addition of her given name, but younger sisters are distinguished as “Miss Mary,” “Miss Emily,” and so on; or one card only may be used, as “The Misses Abercrombie.” The rules suggested may be applied to all the varying circumstances of social life.

Cards should be sent up when you call, and in some cases nothing more is necessary at the time; as for instance, when a death has occurred in the family, visits of condolence are due in the following week. If the lady is not at home the cards will be left.

Turning the corner of a card implies that two or more ladies  have called,  representing   the family.  Sometimes cards

may be sent, as on the day after festivities.

If you purpose leaving home for a prolonged absence, leave cards when making your round of calls, with P.P.C. written in the lower left-hand corner, the French sentence Pour prendre congé being the accepted mode of taking leave on such occasions. Brief absences call for no formalities.

When you call your card-case should be in your hand, and cards may be handed to the person answering the bell. If the person visited is sick or has suffered bereavement, cards may be accompanied by oral inquiries.

After minor festivities, such as dinner parties, to which you have been invited, leave cards during the next week; call earlier if you have been unable to attend.

When friends for whom you leave cards are staying at the hotel, write their names in the upper left hand corner of your card, to guard against wrong delivery.

“Not at home” is a formula that will secure you against callers, if your attendants are properly instructed; but when a visitor has been admitted, etiquette obliges you to receive.

If you want to exclude certain persons, or to admit only certain persons, for any reason, give precise instructions to your attendants accordingly.