ISITS were formerly pos- sible only to the wealthy, to near neighbors, to persons engaged in commerce, or to pilgrims; they are now indulged in by much wider circles, and the amenities of such occasions make life various and delightful. We have noticed the cere-

monial call, but we now refer to visits of some duration among relatives and friends in which mere ceremony is put aside in favor of a more charming etiquette. Unless your intimacy or relationship warrants a departure from general rules, never “drop in” upon friends without a special invitation, as visits requested without setting a time for the arrival do not suppose preparation, and the host may be seriously incommoded.  When traveling, if you stay

in the locality where friends reside, drive to the best hotel, and send them an intimation of your presence; they will wait upon you there and extend hospitalities, unless particular causes render that step inconvenient.

There are periodical disruptions of every home, such as housecleaning, and other less regular visitation of trouble, which even pater famillas¹ would escape if he dared by sojourning elsewhere, and your happening in at such a time would intensify domestic afflictions, involving you in some degree in the unhappiness of that juncture. Your friends, although pleased to receive you generally, should be informed of your possible call, and permitted a graceful opportunity to say, without pressure on your part, that they will be delighted to have you “make yourself at home.”

The rules that apply to friends have the same force with relatives, unless the connection is so near that your room is always ready, and no ceremony is needed on your arrival. When you have been invited for a set time, observe with care the limits of the invitation, as your friend's house is not a cavansary, and however large, other guests may have been favored in the same way, so that the presence of persons not expressly included, however welcome on general principles, might have the effect of an unwarrantable intrusion. Husbands

and wives should not be separated in friendly attention,but your attendants and children may find comfort in “the old house at home,” without diminishing the joy of the visit.

Time is an element in every welcome, which the wise will always remember; other guests may be invited to follow you although your host would be pained to mention the fact, therefore, intimate your intention to depart at the end of the week if no time has been named for the termination of your pleasure in that household,and adhere to that purpose, unless you are overruled by the hospitable desires of your friends. If you are prevailed upon to remain beyond the time indicated, arrive at a definite understanding on the subject, so that the round of delight may be compressed and your exit may not seem abrupt.

Invitations to visit are usually in writing, and when orally tendered should be accepted in general terms, dependent upon mutual arrangements, to be determined by letter at a later date. Subsequently you will hear from your friend again, naming a particular time, or pressing for a day to be named. Unless such attentions are urged upon you it will be well to postpone your visit. When you are so honored answer by return accepting, if that be your pleasure, but reserving the decision as to time at least one mail, until you have considered your engagements. You can then fix date and hour of arrival; which must be scrupulously observed, unless some unforseen insuperable difficulty arise, of which the telegraph² wires will inform your friends and save them from useless attendance on incoming trains. Such precautions must never be overlooked or you may alienate your best friends, who have asked your presence presumably at the season when they can best wait upon you and promote your happiness.

The preparations for your reception have been in progress for many days, and elegant hospitalities await you. The room which you may have occupied before is made ready for your coming with care, suggested by the season, orderly and well appointed, and the bath-room inviting your presence. You will see at once that it would be wrong to slight such politeness.

While your guest remains, his room in your house must be as sacred from intrusion as though the house were his own. At the time he is expected, unless he travels in his own carriage, a rare privilege in our time, wait upon him at the railroad station in your own conveyance, and give him a preliminary welcome, reserving your warmer manifestations of pleasure for his advent to your own home, where he will be ushered to the rooms made ready for his comfort as soon as convenient. When the mysteries of the bath and toilet have made him anxious for refreshments,  you will be ready with whatever

kind of meal is suggested by the hour; and if your guest has arrived late at night it will be politeness to give him a late breakfast the next morning. After that meal, unless special circumstances render deviations necessary, make your friend aware of your regular made of life and he will accommodate himself to your pleasure, as he must be aware that any irregularity on his part will disrupt your domestic arrangements,

In almost every locality there are some points of interest or beauty that you think specially worthy of notice, and as your guest depends upon you for guidance during the hours that may be exempt itom correspondence or literary labor, the programme of excursions and visits in the neighborhood, and the reception of calls, must be determined by you, subject to any personal habits of your friend, with which you may have become familiar. If your friend has any business to transact during his stay and desires your attendance upon him, meet his views if possible; but upon the slightest indication that the matter to be transacted is confidential, respect the privacy which belongs to all such affairs. The host will of course invite any friends of his guest in the same city to visit him during the stay and partake of his hospitality in some form, including by way of introduction, if they are strangers, the invitation of the guest in the letter conveying his polite attention, and in any case they must be notified of the guest's arrival so that they may call. The host must give the guest all possible pleasure, and the visiting friend will conform to the ways of the household, and give the least trouble possible.

The round of gaieties while the guest remains should be as complete as possible, without falling into senseless dissipation: although pleasure is the reasonable object of the visit on both sides, there are duties which neither can neglect without shame and loss; therefore the host will respect the needful demands upon the time of his guest, and if possible attend to his own pursuits at the same hours, leaving leisure for free disposal of his energies, when the guest may be entertained. This course fully understood will assist materially to place the visitor at his ease. Ladies more readily understand the amenities of such occasions than gentlemen, and it is no infraction on routine to see the accomplished friend, whose pen or pencil may delight thousands, giving an hour to the family work-room to help the hostess overtake her arrears, unless that lady is urgent in declining her aid. No visits can be made in the neighborhood without previous consultation with the friend you are visiting, and that obligation is mutually imperative. 

Sorrow falls like a thunderbolt sometimes from an unclouded sky, and thus you may be called upon to minister to affliction in the house of your friends, where you were asked to participate in joyous hospitalities; in such a case use your discretion; remain and assist if you can be really useful, while

tendering your voiceless sympathies, for deep sorrow is often silent; but if you cannot render service, otherwise, tender your adieux in friendly regret.

When you visit friends who live in a less pretentious style than others in your circle, be silent as to the differences you may observe; the hospitality of your friends, not their wealth, should be the charm of your stay, and disparaging remarks must alienate their regard, or lessen their esteem for you. The servants of the household will provide you with anything you may require, which may have been overlooked by the hostess, and which cannot be supplied by yourself, but in an unobtrusive way you should take for your use anything you can foresee the likelihood of wanting, and lessen as much as possible your demands upon the household, always remembering that the servant whose duty it is to attend upon you will not consider any reasonable request a trouble. Should you unfortunately destroy or injure any article in your own room or elsewhere in your friend's house, it is your duty to make the loss good, although your host will of course decline any such suggestion on your part, and you will show polite and priceless attentions in small presents to the hostess and younger members of the family. 

Acknowledgments of hospitality by expensive presents are not required under any circumstances, more especially if you can requite the obligation in your own home; but when a gentleman desires to make any such offering, he will delicately tender the article chosen for the purpose to the lady of the house, or for the youngest child.

You will not expect the host and hostess, who have many duties, to give you their personal attention all the day–providing for your comfort must occupy some of their time–but you will have their establishment at your disposal, and when they can afford you their company it will be a pleasure on both sides, the more enjoyed because of the enforced interval. Your day is more completely at your own disposal, being a guest away from engrossing business pursuits, and when you are called upon by your host or hostess to make calls or take part in any course they may suggest, respond gladly. 

Being a Protestant you are not bound to attend the Roman Catholic church because your host may do so; nor would you if a Catholic, under similar circumstances, be called upon to attend Protestant worship; but you will not argue the question nor even mention it, unless it is forced upon you. Should you attend church conform to the customs of the place; family prayers are obligatory in the same degree. When guests of divers views meet in the house of a friend, the rules of good fellowship will be promoted by gentlemanly forbearance in a hundred particulars, embodied in the axiom: “Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” 

1. Pater familias: the father of the family.

2. Telegraph: In 2002, the U.S. Congress confirmed that the telephone was actually invented between 1850 and 1862 by the Italian Antonio Meucci, with Alexander Graham Bell's patent issued in 1876.