Posted by Kevin Carruth on 2012-04-19 @ 23:24:48

At least, how many people 'say' they were born on Jan 1, when prompted for their ages by websites or applications?

I wonder this because when I'm using steam, every time I view a trailer that is for a game rated higher than "E", it prompts me, and defaults to Jan 1, 2012. Out of laziness, I just change the year and submit. I bet a lot of people do the same, skewing their records.

Actually, they probably don't keep records, or they wouldn't have to prompt me EVERY TIME.

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Posted by Kevin Carruth on 2012-03-21 @ 15:06:31 , edited on 2012-04-13 @ 16:25:03

Be warned. Wall of text and [nerd|fanboy] rage to come.

Let me open by saying that the Mass Effect series has, until now, been without a doubt my favorite single-player video-game experience ever. I've always been a bit of a nerd, always loved science fiction, and the scale, lore, and characters of Mass Effect and its sequel, Mass Effect 2 had me hooked from the get-go. So, it was with no small amount of anticipation that I eagerly awaited the release of the much-hyped finale to the trilogy, Mass Effect 3. And while I admit I was basically hoping for the greatest single-player game ever and thus setting myself up for some measure of disappointment, what I got fell so far short of my expectations (and its two predecessors) that it left a bitter aftertaste.

The Good
My overall game experience in ME3 was good. Gameplay was pretty sharp; combat control has been improved dramatically. Multiplayer is quite fun (if a bit repetitive).

The individual mission stories ranged, on their own merit, from good to very good, but they felt a bit disconnected, resulting in (to me, anyway) a story that consisted of a whistle-stop tour of the various race homeworlds. The end result of almost all of these missions, and indeed all side missions as well, was simply a 'war assets' statistic increasing. Not the in-depth exploration of the various race homeworlds and cultures I was really hoping for, but still fun.

Then the missions comprising the finale really amped up the tension and things were looking up, I was really enjoying the game, and then... the ending (see "The Ugly" below).

The soundtrack was, as always, great. Sam Hulick from ME1 is back, as is Christpher Linnertz from ME2, and they're joined by Clint Mansell, making for an amazing, atmospheric, memorable and emotional score.

The Bad
From the opening cinematic, this game felt like a slightly prettier Mass Effect 2. Visually, character textures (particularly facial ones) looked a little better, but just about everything else looked the same. A small gripe, but I was hoping for some visual overhauls here akin to what ME2 gained over ME1.

Now, let's talk technical problems. The dialogue scenes were littered with small bugs, mostly having to do with where the speaking character is looking; the most egregious of these (that I saw) was in a dialogue with Liara, her small floating virtual intelligence droid flies around, and Shepard locks his eyes on that and never switches back to Liara, resulting in most of the conversation spent with his head unnaturally twisted to one side. Then there was the occasional invisible character; the camera looked in the wrong place so you got to see a blank wall as your companion spoke.

Sound was generally good, but I found it very difficult to hear certain characters speaking, especially in the non-dialogue areas, such as when you're ambling around the Citadel listening to side conversations for flavor and/or side missions.

Mechanically, they've even further overloaded the 'everything' button which you use to

• sprint
• use
• dodge/roll
• take cover
• leave cover
• jump over cover
• move around cover

I suppose this makes sense for a console controller with limited inputs, but once you port it to PC, let me use as many keys as I like! Really if they just broke 'sprint' and 'use' off onto their own separate keys, it would be perfectly usable.

They also have neglected to fix the ME2 bug where occasionally, Shepard will clip a short distance up a wall and become immobilized, resulting in the player having to reload a recent save. The Normandy cockpit just behind Joker is notorious for this.

The  Ending  Ugly

I'd somewhat spoiled the ending for myself by listening to the soundtrack earlier that afternoon; there was a definite tone of sadness and so I was prepared for Shepard to die, or for some other misfortune to befall him. However, I did expect that the ending would at least pay lip-service to, if not directly resolve, each of the key plot choices I'd made throughout this game and its two prequels.

What I got was a completely unexplained deus-ex-machina artificial intelligence character that explained little beyond "it's all my doing" and simply presented me with three arbitrary choices:

• take control of the Reapers but sacrifice myself (the paragon option)
• destroy all synthetics including the Reapers, Geth, and EDI (the renegade option)
• synthesize all organic and synthetic life such that everything is a combination of the two (the neutral option)

I watched all three, and to my extreme disappointment, not only are they almost exactly the same, but they seem to be intentionally vague and depressing.

• The superweapon fires a beam of [blue|green|red] light that envelops everything
• The reapers [leave|stop|die] and the soldiers on earth [cheer|stand there]
• The energy pulse hits the Mass Relay, it fires it to the next Relay, then explodes, triggering a chain reaction destroying all the Relays (and, by implication, the entirety of the systems in which they reside, if the Arrival mission from ME2 is considered).
• The Normandy tries to outrun the pulse in mid-relay-transit but is caught, crashes on an alien planet, and Joker and two other squad members disembark to look at the horizon

They don't really explain anything in any detail. It's as if they wrote themselves into a corner, and with a deadline or budget approaching, tossed out a quick wrap-up.

I have so many lingering questions: Where did the Normandy crash? What was the final fate of the various crew members I grew to care so much about? What happened to the different galactic civilizations? or, for that matter, Earth? What effect did freeing the Rachni queen have in the long run? or curing the Genophage? destroying the Collector base? uniting the Quarians and the Geth, or the Turians and Krogan? Some of these things were touched upon during the main game's narrative, or in the run-up to the finale, but they make no difference in the ultimate outcome, nor are the long-term implications resolved.

And then there's the nonsensical stuff: Why was the Normandy fleeing the battle for Earth in the first place? How did the crew get back aboard, particularly the two teammates you bring with you for the final push (and which you can see following you) when Harbinger vaporizes everything? How is an artificial intelligence creating a race of synthetics to wipe out advanced organic civilizations in order to prevent said organics from creating synthetics that will rebel and wipe them out a solution to anything? (Yes, that's seriously the explanation for the Reapers.)



Where's the epic space battle cinematic highlighting all the various races I saved or recruited? Where is any reference to the choices I made? That's the biggest disappointment; not in the sadness of the ending (I'm actually quite pleased to have had such an emotional reaction to a game; I think this was in large part thanks to the music, in particular the track by Faunts), but rather the lack of variation in the endings available or acknowledgement of the choices leading up to it.

Prior to the release, there was a promise of vastly differing ending sequences, based on the decisions made previously. Since this was to be the final chapter in Shepard's story, they didn't need to worry about a sequel and carrying the story forward. They had the opportunity to go wild in a 'choose-your-own-adventure' fashion and completely, utterly, spectacularly flubbed it. What they gave us was a 'war assets' counter, which, if what I've read is correct, slightly alters the mission narrative leading up to the final cinematic based on its value.

Now, my desire to play through it again has almost evaporated; why bother starting over, making different choices, when I know exactly what will happen in the end, regardless of what I do differently? If the ending was satisfying (sad, happy, whatever, I just want it to make sense) that would be one thing, but the amount of ambiguity present here is too frustrating.

The Verdict
An otherwise good game suffering from several bugs that should have been caught in testing, and severely marred by an ill-fitting and poorly conceived ending, making for an ultimately disappointing closing chapter to what I thought was one of the best game franchises, and even science fiction narratives, I've ever experienced. 7/10 .

[Addendum 2012-03-27]

Also, why the hell did they skimp on Tali's design? It's been a big mystery what she (or any Quarian) looked like under that mask from the beginning of ME1, and the best they can do is a slightly photoshopped stock picture? I've seen several cool fanmade concepts, is that really the best BioWare could do? And not only that, but they can't take the time to model it in-game? How great a reveal it would have been to see her face animated as she takes her mask off on her homeworld... but no. They can include a naked-Liara model but not an unmasked Tali model. Grr.

[Addendum 2012-04-05]
BioWare has announced that the first DLC pack for Mass Effect 3 will be called "Extended Cut" and will "provide a more fleshed out experience for our fans" and "help answer some questions and give closure to this chapter of the Mass Effect story."

The bad news: they still "strongly believe" in the crap ending they have, and won't be adding new options. I'm going to hazard a guess and say they'll just give more detail into what ultimately happens to the galaxy and your squad mates.

The good news: it's free, and hopefully will improve what ending there is. I suppose it's too much to hope that they'll somehow explain away the logical holes in what's there; that would be a best-case scenario at this point.

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Posted by Kevin Carruth on 2012-03-02 @ 00:33:34 , edited on 2012-03-02 @ 13:48:18

So with the purchase of my car, I decided I wanted to buy a second sync cable for my Zune HD mp3 player, so that I could leave one in the car and just carry the player back and forth.

Much to my surprise, buying a legit brand-name cable is about as easy as finding the lost city of Atlantis.

Microsoft's Zune website is incredibly unhelpful. It's got a static info page with no links or instructions on how to purchase anything. All their documentation refers to accessories as "sold separately", but nowhere do they actually sell them.

I finally did find (with Google's help) one page that mentioned ordering a player from "Zune Originals" website, which redirects back to a page on the above site that informs me that Microsoft no longer sells them directly, but you have to buy from Best Buy or Wal-Mart, neither of whom have genuine accessories listed on their sites!

So I guess I'll have to buy a knock-off; it'll probably work but you never know. And, as an added bonus, Best Buy here in Cville doesn't stock the off-brand cable; you have to special order it in the store (or buy online).

I just don't understand some businesses... how can it be a good idea to make it this hard to buy your product? That's just ten shades of stupid.

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