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Top Tool:
my roommate scott aland
my roommate went to a date function one time and his date thought she could drink more then him...she went to the hospital.
Stories:
Doug
Im Doug Vitez. FML
poopy phone
my friend took a picture of his poop because he thought it was the biggest poop ever. his farts smell like mildew.
Awesome Video
Check this out: http://gizmodo.com/5231112/best-video-ive-seen-today-will-make-you-smile
2 much fudge
So, im post-meal relaxing in newcomb, lettin my stomach bulge a little, and a dining hall worker comes up to me and tells me i remind him of the time john stamos wore a pregnancy suit on full house
Friends gf
So my friend told me his girlfriend and him were in a fight b/c he wasnt enough like "Edward." Edward is a fictional vampire from the book/ movie Twilight!
Greg Namrow
My friend Greg has some rule where he refuses to pick up his cell phone while he eats...AND I think he paints his toe nails
Monster
Alexandra Regis
DOS EQUIS
The man in the new Dos Equis commercial. "His reputation is expanding faster than the Universe" Cool or Tool?
Anaconda
My friend has a third nipple that his mom nicknamed "Anaconda"
Nature boy...
I met a guy at a party one weekend named Hill. When I saw him the next weekend, I couldnt remember his name, but I knew it was something hippie, I called him Tree...he was not happy.
Student Health
So today student health told me I have a staff infection in my nose, so they gave me a shot in my butt...
this site sucks
i can"t even use apostrophes!
Pied by Girls
I volunteered to work at Mid-Autumns this last year. As I was working my shift I saw two little girls I had never seen before walking around with pies. They start running after me and I run away. As I run away I trip over my feet and they both pied me in the face. Im a 20 year old guy not able to out run 2 10 year old girls
my roommate...
...called me out on cool or tool and used my full name. he is growing tomatoes on our balcony.
my roommate scott aland
my roommate went to a date function one time and his date thought she could drink more then him...she went to the hospital.
work in progress
god if only we could vote ourselves as tools right now
top-rated fml
Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML
FML
I am a TA for cs 150. FML
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We (makers of the site) ordered chinese food to the computer science lab
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