[This is the first bit of computer humor I ever submitted to Usenet,
way back in 1983. I had only been using Unix for about a year and
was mostly self-taught, so there are a couple of technical goofs
(like the appropriate manpage section). I had lost any printed copy
I had of this years ago, and only recovered it when Google made
available their restored Usenet archive in late 2001. —DS]
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Newsgroups: net.jokes
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From: sdcatta!wa277
Date: Wed Jan 19 01:56:19 1983
Subject: litcrit (New UNIX program)
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Posted: Sat Jan 15 21:55:06 1983
Received: Wed Jan 19 01:56:19 1983
LITCRIT(7) UNIX Programmer's Manual LITCRIT(7)
NAME
litcrit - perform standard interpretation of literary work
SYNOPSIS
litcrit [-nMDlfgCp{name}] [-X] [-r]
DESCRIPTION
Litcrit is used to produce professional-quality interpreta-
tions of literary works. Output produced is formatted with
-ms macros following the style of the MLA Handbook. Format-
ting may be suppressed with the -X flag.
Litcrit follows a heuristic hermeneutical program that pro-
duces the one "correct" interpretation of the given text.
If indeterminacy is desired random interpretations may be
generated using the -r flag. This will also insure that
several people using litcrit for class assignments will not
duplicate one another's work.
-n Standard new critical interpretation. Appropriate
especially for beginning users.
-M Marxist interpretation (sophisticated).
-D Deconstructionist reading. Generates a powerful decon-
struction of the given text using standard Derridean
terminology. Users should be aware of a major bug: in-
terpretations are occasionally incomprehensible to the
C-shell and may cause sudden erasure of entire files,
hangups, and other assorted problems.
-l Linguistic analysis. Particularly useful for poetry.
Generates an interpretation based on prosodic patterns,
etymologies, metrics, etc. Uses a loose variant of a
Levi-Strauss/Jakobson program.
-f Feminist interpretation.
-g Gay interpretation.
-C Christian interpretation. Generates for given text the
appropriate Christ figure, redemptive pattern, and sym-
bology.
-p [name]
Psychological interpretation. Generates a reading
based on one of several available theoretical models.
Current meaningful names are: Freud, Jung, Lacan, Erik-
son. (Can also be used as a makeshift therapeutic pro-
gram with file that is transcript of dream or free as-
sociation.)
BUGS
Current model understands only English. (Unlike other UNIX
programs, however, litcrit utilizes the OED plus supplements
as its dictionary base. Inclusion of the Bosworth-Toller
Old English dictionary is projected for 1984.)
Litcrit may not be able to handle certain authors/genres.
In particular, avoid feeding it concrete poetry, post-post-
modernist anything, Gertrude Stein, etc. In addition,
Litcrit will severely satirize authors whom it considers to
be foo-bag biters. Avoid Rod McKuen, Kurt Vonnegut, John
Irving, Erica Jong, etc.
Finally, program was devised by two assistant professors
(one of English, one of Computer Science) at the University
of Southern North Dakota. You may wish to keep this in mind
in evaluating potential for publication of articles which it
generates.
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