The Constitution
of
The Assemblage of Cain
We the People of the Assemblage of Cain, in Order to form a more perfect Universe, establish Freedom, insure Equality, provide for the growth of mustaches, promote the Abilities of Jason Cain, and secure the Blessings of Unappreciated facial hair to ourselves and our Posteriors, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Assemblage of Cain.
Article I.
Section 1
All legislative powers shall be vested in the Assemblage’s supreme officers.
Supreme officers of the Assemblage shall be denoted hereto:
· President
· Vice President
· Webmaster
· Secretary
Each Chapter shall have the previously mentioned offices which shall constitute the Head Council.
The Head Council makes all executive decisions.
Section 2
Each chapter may institute new offices for which, hitherto, one may be elected. These new officers may not, however, be considered supreme officers. Thusly, de facto, et al, they may not take part in head council decisions.
Each chapter of the Assemblage shall look for guidance and approval from the chapter’s head council of these previously stated officers.
Section 3
National officers shall be elected by popular vote of all current chapters of the Assemblage.
Chapter officers shall be elected by popular vote of all current members of the Assemblage. There will be no use of chads. If a tie occurs in the election process, the current head council of supreme officers shall confer and select the officer they feel is best suited for the position; or just the one they like better.
Elections shall take place on the third Monday after the second Thursday of the twenty-fifth month of the previous year’s previous year.
Section 4
Membership may be attained by e-mailing the Assemblage at AssemblageofCain@virginia.edu.
The Head Council will meet and determine whether membership shall be granted.
The organization will not restrict membership and/or activity by reason of age, citizenship, color, disability, gender, race, religion, national origin, political affiliation, sexual orientation, or status as a disabled veteran or veteran of the Vietnam eras. Notwithstanding these requirements, the organization may restrict membership based on an ability to perform the activities related to the organizations purpose.
Section 5
The name of this organization cannot be changed.
Section 6
Amendments to the Constitution may be proposed by all members.
Amendments will be added based upon popular vote of the Head Councils of each chapter of the Assemblage.
Section 7
Each chapter shall be subject to the guidelines set forth in this document.
Article II.
Section 1
The Assemblage shall be concerned mainly with the promotion of Jason Cain and his basketball abilities.
Section 2
After Jason Cain has left the University of Virginia, the Assemblage must keep up with his basketball process.
At this juncture, the Assemblage’s National Head Council will select another basketball player from the University of Virginia, towards whom they gravitate in a natural manner, to whom the national body shall promote in an amicable nature.
Each chapter shall choose one sub-player which shall be held in high regard.
This player shall not be held in a higher regard than the nationally recognized highly regarded player. If the sub-player is held in a higher regard, the sub-player’s regard must be reduced immediately. If regard is not decreased, then the chapter will face severe consequences, of which the National Head Council shall determine.
Article III.
Section 1
The Assemblage, including its chapters, must attempt to attend as many basketball games as are convenient for its members.
Members must show obvious support for regarded players. Outward signs of appreciation for regarded players are required, especially if the game shall be deemed televised.
Section 2
Mustaches are not a requirement for this organization, but are highly regarded.
Hoodies are the uniform of choice for all meetings and other social events.
Section 3
Hitherto.
[Signed]
Richmond, VA
Seth A. Barker, President
Sterling, VA
Nicholas W. Mangum, Vice President
Pulaski, VA
Daniel J. Warburton, Chief Operating Officer
Alexandria, VA
Michael L. Lefebvre, Half-Filipino/Gallbladder/Doogie Howser