Well, not to worry.

There are other options.

The notorious Babel Fish site will translate to and from major European languages. Try running a proverb or quotation back and forth a few times and see what comes out.

Jim O'Donnell has an admirable website for late Latinists and others.

Some eccentric folks at the University of Iowa are figuring out how to make corn play baseball on the internet. See how they're doing.

Every American should know—in fact, every American should know by heart—Walt Whitman's elegy for President Lincoln,  "When Lilacs last in the Door-Yard Bloom'd"

This site (when working) will translate the utterance of your choice into the idiosyncratic yet unforgettable dialect of the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show.

Read a classic ghost story like Sheridan Lefanu's famous Green Tea, or M.R. James's chilling little masterpiece The Mezzotint.

Cat lovers should probably stay away from this one.

Ever wonder if the postmodernist prose you've been reading was composed by a machine? Well, you're right. It was. Check out this Australian site's random literary theory generator.

Do you ever feel paranoid? HUNTED? AS IF SOMEONE IS WATCHING YOU?  Maybe they are.

H.H. Munro, better known by his pen-name Saki, wrote perhaps the funniest story ever. Read his The Unrest Cure.

My former student Caroline Grinham has assembled materials too various too enumerate.

All right-thinking people agree that Australia just doesn't get enough respect.

More feline fun, courtesy of my friend Janet. ("Takes a moment to load up, but—be flooded—what can say. Waves of beauty breaking over me").

Then, when you are enough with your joy, you can move on to ...

... Rotunda-Cam! The view of the Lawn from Cabell Hall is updated every ten seconds. [NB. Works better in the daytime]

Alas, Bentham-Cam seems to be gone for good, but you can find out more about the Auto-Icon here.

Jo Miller has a broad selection of quotations on her web site.

Yeah, sure, you know your secret porn star name. But do you know your Middle Earth name???

Have your mind read--for free!

The hamster dance web site is all its name would suggest. And more.

Worried about BAD BOOKS? Well, then, you'll be grateful to this group of public-spirited Virginia citizens, who are working tirelessly to keep pornographic garbage like Sophie's World, The Joy Luck Club and Beloved out of high school libraries.

Hate little smiley faces? Tired of being told to have a nice day? You're not alone.

An amusing "site" devoted to a peculiar grammatical "phenomenon."

John Gibson has reminded me that Live Arts is not only useful, but also frivolous.

No procrastination session is complete without taking in a performance at the Stick Figure Death Theatre.

This site is devoted to a phenomenon you may well have observed yourself.

Some questions classicists get tired of being asked:

What does "uva uvam vivendo variam fit" mean?
Okay, smartass, how about "lorem ipsum dolor sit amet ..."?

If you've ever spent any time on an internet message board, you'll recognize many of these folks.

NEWSFLASH: Princess Diana's death foretold in Moby Dick!!!

The ever-popular "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" home-page, right here at UVA.

My Little Pony or Porn Star ...? You be the judge.

Oh, and speaking of porn stars, please don't forget to visit our sponsor: